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ABOUT ME
Her birth name is Jaymee, and she came into being on August 17, 1988. Born to a doting but doddering couple, she spent her childhood gathering wildflowers on the countryside until her parents left her under the care of a pack of HIV-positive chimpanzees following their untimely demise by freak whisk accident. She overcame the abject poverty by singing show tunes on street corners, but her eleven chimp brethren grew increasingly jealous of her fame and wealth and left her in the desert, taking her amazing technicolor dreamcoat as proof of her death. Forced into child slavery and prostitution at the tender onset of adolexcence, she despised herself until she found merciful refuge in writing. This discovery liberated both soul and body, for she would read her newest compositions aloud to her clients, who would promptly fall asleep. Thus, she was free to pursue her lifelong dream of a threesome with Monica Lewinxky and William Shatner.

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My subscription list is much bigger than this, but these are the most active posters/commenters. Comment if you would like to be added.

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Posted by: msmoocow

Original: 12/31/2006 11:26 AM
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Sunday, December 31, 2006

Because I really think you care...

 Yay, wasting time! You see, on Myspace something like this would probably be attached to a bulletin threatening to kill your mom if you didn't complete it. Luckily, I did this out of my own volition.

And also, I wish just once someone would make a survey with more interesting questions.

A- Available or taken? Very available, though I'm not actively looking. However, if Hiro Nakamura, Paul Dano, Channing Tatum, or Matt Lewis need someone to carry their children, I will gladly offer my uterus. I'll even deal with the vaginal shredding if it's a particularly hefty baby that I'm going to birth. So if anyone wants to send me one of these boys...

B- Best Friend? I don't think I have a best friend, per se. I have a bunch of very very close friends, but I've yet to share that kind of a bond with someone. Not that I mind. You can't miss what you never had, and I love all of my friends to pieces.

C- Cake or Pie? A certain friend of mine would argue, but I think I'm going to go with cake. Pie crust is tricky to perfect, and I've been scarred by too many bad pie crusts.

D- Drink of Choice? Tapioca pearl tea. Any flavor. And the balls have to be tasty (the tapioca balls, you perv) because some boba tea places use canned pearls rather than fresh, and ick.

E- Essential Item? If I forget my cellphone, I feel very very naked. Also, underwear. Britney, are you listening?

F- Favorite Color? Black, the absence of color. It matches my tortured soul. *is emo* Actually, I don't have a favorite color.

G- Gummi Bears or Worms? Worms. They last longer, since they're bigger, and the thought of eating those cute little bears makes me sad. Though real bears would eat me.

H- Hometown? Santa Clara, California.

I -Indulgence? Probably pearl tea, as stated above. It's a ridiculously expensive habit, and when school was in session I'd walk to Quickly every day to pay $3 for a cup.

J- January or February? What's the difference? I guess February, because it's when birds chirp, bunnies cuddle, and the world just reproduces in general. And on February 15, I go to the grocery store and buy the chocolates on clearance.

K- Kids and names? Kids? We've been over this, people. Immaculate conception was a one-time deal.

L- Life is incomplete without? Love. Corny, yes. But oh so true.

M- Marriage Date? See A, above.

N- Number of Siblings? None. :( I won't have any nieces or nephews to spoil.

O- Oranges or apples? Oranges.

P- Phobias/Fears? Isolation.

Q- Favorite Quote? I have a lot, see Facebook.

R- Reason to Smile? Frowning isn't as fun, and gives you wrinkles besides.

S- Season? Spring and fall, the medium seasons.

T- Tag three people! I already did this on LJ, but if you'd like to do this, feel free.

U- Unknown Fact About Me? I once saved my house from a fire caused by Ricky Martin. I kid ye not.

V- Vegetable you hate? I don't really like a lot of vegetables, but I'll eat them anyway.

W- Worst habit? Err, I don't know. Speaking before I think, maybe. When I'm comfortable with the company I tend to get loud and obnoxious. A lot of habits, really.

X- X-Rays you've had? Teeth. And I think my knee, for some random reason. I've never had an X-rayable injury. Thank goodness, because I'm a huge wimp when it comes to pain.

Y- Your favorite food? Anything Italian, especially stuffed manicotti. My mom's baked potatoes, my quiches...yay, calories! I need to post recipes or something, because this food is the yum.

Z- Zodiac? Leo. Attention-seeking, but not in the traditional ways. I guess instead of being a drama queen, my Leo-ness manifests itself in more subtle ways. Like I'll post my writing or share it with friends, and I'll crave feedback of any kind, even if it's bad. Or I'll call someone if I get the urge, and talk about my issues until I've resolved them, so I feel like someone's listening.
 Posted 12/31/2006 11:26 AM - 32 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments

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